Every day I am faced with making decisions I just don't want to make.
I don't want to wake up at 5:30 especially when my husband is home and still in bed.
I do not want to workout - like ever ever.
Lord knows I don't want to do another load of laundry.
My natural alarm clock wakes me up at 5:30 and I lay there thinking "Am I gonna get up today?"
That one decision dictates how my day will go.
It sounds crazy, but it 100% does. Its been tested time and time again and each and every time that one single decision fully dictates how my attitude, my energy, my mental state, and my desires.
If I say yes to that question and get out of bed at 5:30 I get at least an hour of alone time in a quiet house with no one asking me for anything. I make coffee and I sip is slowly while I do a devotion and talk to God. Hollis is usually up by 6:30 and for next 30 minutes I tend to him and answer all of his daily questions and listen to him tell me of everything he dreamed of the night before. We snuggle until I can get him settled with a morning cartoon. At 7:00 I get dressed for my workout which I commit to for 30 minutes while I watch The Today Show. At 7:30 my big kids are up and ready for school and I get into the kitchen to make breakfast and usually clean up any leftover messes from the night before. After that I put on a load of laundry, take the kids to school and by the time I am back home by 8:30 Hollis heads to his toy area for some independent play time and I get to work until the first interruption.
But If I choose to say no to that question, my morning goes nothing like above. I will eventually fall back asleep and stay asleep until Hollis climbs in the bed with me to wake me up which is usually between 6:30-7:00. I am now faced with making coffee, trying to wake up, and get a toddler settled who is sitting on ready to go from the time his eyes open. There is no quiet time before the crazy starts and my mind feels it. For the (maybe) 30 minutes before I have to make breakfast, I will open a devotion and try to read it in between Hollis's interruptions. I do not clean. I do not do laundry. I do not workout. By the time I get back home from dropping the kids off at school I feel depleted and muddle between busy work just so I don't have to focus on anything.
The biggest difference that my pride doesn't want me to point out is my attitude. Not giving myself the one hour of alone time makes me less than happy to serve the rest of my family. I'm short with Hollis. I'm frustrated while making breakfast for my big, more than capable teen kids. I get annoyed that the kitchen is never clean and the laundry is never done. I continue to feed those emotions even more throughout the day and convince myself by not doing much of anything I'm actually relaxing from a mentally exhaustive morning.
However if I do give myself that 1 hour it changes the position of my mind and body significantly. Not only do I serve the ones around me with a happy heart, I serve myself more also. The circumstances do not change, but my attitude does greatly. That one single hour cost me nothing other than one hour of sleep, but when I choose to take it away the price is so much greater.
Your one hour may look different than mine. Remember self care looks different during certain season of life as it should. A new mama probably doesn't want to sacrifice an hour of sleep when she's been awake every 3 hours throughout the night. Knowing and accepting your current season of life will help you find what the best form of self care is for you.
I encourage you to find ways to serve yourself each day as well. Self care doesn't have to cost a dime. Self care should feed you and fuel you emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually. When you finish with your act of self care you should feel rejuvenated and ready to move into the other parts of your day. You should leave that moment with a full appreciation for what you done for yourself.
I'd love to know what self care looks like to you. Send me a DM on Instagram and lets chat!